Lost

Yesterday I met my old friend from MRSM. It was a fun hang out with her. She looked different from the last time we met which was a few years ago. We talked about ourselves a lot. We talked about our other old friends too which were majorly married. Then she talked about her goals. Then it suddenly hit me. I have no goals.

I only want happiness in mind but that's not real goal. I mean, where I want to be in the next five years? I have no plan. She said she wanted to marry a loving husband in two years time but me? I have no plan to get married anytime soon and also in coming few years too. 

She told me she could not wait to finish her final project so that she could focus on her career because she knew what she wanted to become. How bout me? I don't know what I want to become. I don't know if becoming a lecture is what I really ever wanted. I've tried, trust me to find myself but I'm still lost. All I know I'm living in a cruel world where I don't know if I ever been accepted to find my place.

I'm so frustrated with myself. Suddenly I feel like I'm a shame for a person who always love me. Sorry for I have nothing for you to be proud of. I was before but not anymore. What happen to a girl who always know what she is doing?  I really really don't know. 

I am sorry.

Ins & Outs : Hectic

Before I continue with my post, I want to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all muslim around the world. I just had yummy nasi impit and kuah kacang plus ayam goreng when I typed this cooked by my beloved grandma for my early dinner. Anyway, my life have been a bit hectic lately and with this kind of routine I’ve to scarify my time with family and friends. But I’m starting to love this kind of living style lately. Let me list my ins and outs:

Ins

Study

            Like what I’ve tweeted on Twitter, I’ve continued my study at OUM. I’m so excited to finally can take my favorite course and I love the new environment there. I get to know new people with different backgrounds and age. At first I thought our age gap is not too far because they look so young. Later I knew I was the youngest among them! One of them is as old as my mama. Oh my gosh so awet muda. I feel old because I look older than my age T-T

Job Interview.

            I went for job interview yesterday and my sister wanted to accompany me. So she had helped to overcome my nervous eventhough I didn’t feel so nervous at all but a tiny bit only. The interview was great but the terms are worrying me. After I’d done with it, I realized that I like to meet new people which was why I overcome my nervous very well. This had taught me to be calm in handling tough and difficult situations. Glad I’d made it.

Pet

            My uncle bought a cute little hamster about 3 weeks ago. It’s name is Boy but I don’t like it so I call it Grey ( Christian Grey, get it?LOL) . I’m so excited to finally have a pet cause I never had pet before! So whenever I’m around I’ll take care of it or else my uncle will. It’s so cute and tame. It doesn’t bite whenever I touch him . Love it!

BBQ

            We had barbeque with close family and friends the night before raya which means on Monday night. Nothing big but a little thing that make me happy with life. I love to be surrounded by family and friends. 

Outs.

Assignments

I still can’t get use to be a part time student. Yeay for not many classes but hell no for blend learning. Learning online is so boring for me. Plus no lectures to ask face to face whenever I want. Of course I can email them but I still prefer face to face learning. And now I’m having problem with my credit transfer. I just had my first class a week ago and the assignments’ dateline is so soon. Like OMGosh! I still don’t know what I’ve learnt! Sobs sobs..

Job

            Since I’m pursuing my study I need money for my college. So I need to find job after I’ve settled a few things more. I’m not good in multi-tasking. So I’m a bit worried if I can study and work at the same time. Maybe it’s time to challenge myself?

Vacation

            Lately , I’ve been busy going and back from KL-Banting-KL. I miss my free time with my sister and mama. Plus with so much work to be done in shortest time, I really need a vacation. I mean just a short getaway will be fine for me. Hopefully I’ll have that time soon!

Since I update most on Instagram so here's mine @rai901. XOXO !

Iftar Part Two

It was one week before first Syawal . So this time we went to Impian Morib to break our fast before everyone were starting to busy themselves with Aidilfitri decorations. Me and my boyfriend went a bit late as we went with different car. So when I reached there , his family were already gathering and waiting for breaking time. 

Since we were like twelve people all together , we had to sit on different table. The place was nice with minimum decorations. And the place was less crowded compared to the last one , might be some like to berbuka puasa with their families on their last week of fasting. 

  

A little details on the table while we were waiting for food.

Since it was a buffet so it was self-serviced .We were served Masakan Melayu for our iftar. I was a bit confused which one should I picked first because it got so many choices and tasty! 

My favourite part of the meal was Roti Goreng with sauce . It was so yummy but too bad I was fulled and could only finished two three slices only.

The stuffs were very nice to us when we asked for less sugar drink since the one they had served was too sweet for us. Thank you for having me once again for iftar with your family. I had a good time and most importantly my tummy was so happy about it. 

p/s : I will be pursuing my study soon so I was a bit excited for it. Plus I can't wait to meet my new classmates and coursemates! 

Thank you for reading. Till we meet again in the next post. Bye !

My 2013 so far

        I know it's too early for me to say that I think this year is a lot better than last year. But my 2013 so far has been very good. Of course I've been through lots of ups and downs. I'm a person who doesn't cry when I feel sad or things don't go right or not the way I've expected. But this year , I did cried a couple of times due to frustrations. BUT it didn't weaken me. Everyone has their own problems in their lives but it's the way they handle the situations make them who they are today. I've decided to list down my ups and downs to see how far I've come and for my inspirational and others too.

Downs

Failed my test
I'd studied hard for my exams and tests this year because I wanted it to be the last and the best for me. I was stressed when I didn't manage to understand what I'd studied . Trust me , when you're trying to do the best of the things you're not interested into was very2 hard. I didn't had much friends to ask about my papers because I'm staying with mama. I only depended on what's app , BBM , Twitter and facebook to ask things I didn't understand. And when the result came out , I failed one out of three papers . I was so upset and cried and didn't understand why it happened to me because I worked so hard for it.

SUKMA
Volleyball is always gonna be my favourite sport to play. However , when I was in lower school I got chosen to play for Kelantan but my grandpa didn't allow me to play because he only believed girl with sport was just not working. He said sports were only for boys to play. He didn't know I had worked so hard to be chosen to become a state player and I had to decline just like that just because he said girls couldn't play sports. Later , I got to play for Terengganu and the match would be held in Sarawak. I'd already got the ticket but the answer was still no. Then I grew up and finally can made my decision but I had to miss SUKMA because I needed to go back to my hometown for a visit to my grandparents. I don't know what else to describe my feeling at that time but I believe everything happens for a reason. So I moved on.

Know the true colours 
This one did changed my aspect of life. I really didn't expect my bestfriend who I trusted the most , who I really cared about , who I was so happy to be friend with is a back stabber. Later I knew , she talked bad things about me and most of them weren't true. When I said bad , it was really2 bad. After these years , she was actually didn't want me to be friend with her because she said that I told lots of lies just to look cool among our friends. Why didn't she just tell me she doesn't like me instead of being nice to me? That's it. Goodbye to a person who used to be so close to me.

Ups

Birthday gift
I never thought my birthday would be celebrated by mama and sisters. They bought me a cake and a meaningful gift. Last time I got a birthday cake from them was in my 18th birthday. Lol. Seriously guys , I always woke up on my birthday hoping something would happened but well nothing happened. BUT this year was different! Thank you mama , Cella and Nina!

Manage to pass
Like what I'd told earlier , I failed one of my tests. So I registered it again. To be honest , I didn't trust myself anymore. I was so upset to study back with little time. But I did it anyway because I just couldn't give up easily. This was when mama and boyfriend and friends had become so supportive and understanding. The best part was when my boyfriend bought me ice-cream when I was so stressed with my study. It was so sweet. And then , the result came out and I PASSED it ! Wohoo! I was so happy and almost dancing in my room. Alhamdulillah and thank you mama and Ejam and friends for everything! I really appreciate what you had done to me through my hard times.

SUKOB
Finally , I managed to play volleyball for my college for the last time. I didn't thought it would be so much fun and we'd won. It was hard at first because our teamwork was a disaster. Maybe due to age difference made it harder to achieve. And then , we discussed about it and puff ( I know it sounds weird) we became like best friends and with great teamwork made it easier for us to win. We managed to prove we are the best and can't be underestimated by others.

New friends
Later I get so many friends from volleyball team both girls and boys. And unexpected friends who really2 helped me through my hardship. Even though most of them are boys but they were really2 supportive and still are. I am so lucky to be blessed by good and caring friends. Thank you !

Unexpected gifts
I really didn't see it coming. I thought it was a joke. But he didn't! He bought me a new phone because I was always complaining about my BB. Actually my Blackberry doesn't always troubles me much but yeah. But I didn't ask a new one. Trust me lol. Thank you so much for the gift and also for buying the handbag. Seriously, you've spoiled me. Haha Oh well.

Relationship 
Since I've spent so much time at grandma's , I became close with my Acik Ayu (aunty) and Acik Wan (uncle). We always do late night chat until morning about random things. Sometimes , we watch home movies together while eating kuaci (sunflower seed). And play badminton every evening and laughing about how "professional" we are in badminton. The best part is grandma is doing well with her better sight after surgery and is recovering. Relationship with my boyfriend is getting better even though we had a fight recently about stupid things but hey it got better and better. I'm just lucky!

Kelantan
I visited my grandparents on my father's side. It didn't turn out good because grandpa always grumpy and overprotective. He still treats me like I'm still a little girl. But grandma surprised me.She had changed a lot. I mean in a good way. She cooked pulut ayam for me because that is my favourite food. She also had given me a little gift before I headed back to KL which I can't mention here because it's too private. Thank you thank you so much Tok Ayah and Nenek. I love you so much !

Thank you so much for reading!

Take a moment

Let's take a moment and appreciate when suddenly things go wrong. There's a saying " If no ups and downs in your life , that's mean you're dead ". Sometimes , all we have to do is just stop and step back to realize what's happening around us. Don't make "one thing" becomes "your everything'. Appreciate those people who always have your back. I'm thankful to have god , mama , sister , boyfriend and supportive friends. No matter how many you've tried , how many times you fell sometimes there's "no give up" in life.. ~

Cornfield

Silence

Traffic

Playground

p/s Those pictures ain't mine ~

Ulu Yam Part 2

Hi guys! How's your day? I just came back home from Genting Highland. It was fun and calming. BUT I gotta pack my things up again tomorrow because I have to stay in hostel for like three days and next week for fitness and volleyball practice. I don't know why it's a must for us stay in hostel like my house is only minutes away la. BUT you know , man gotta do what man gotta do (bhaaha ). Luckily , I still can spend my weekend at home or at grandma's. So it isn't that bad. Hopefully.

So let's continue with the Ulu Yam camping part. The next day , after we had breakfast , which took us , girls hours to cook due to some circumstances , we were ready for jungle trekking. I was a bit afraid , well not that afraid because the last time I did this was five-six years ago. I didn't think I still had the stamina for this but it was fine. I was being too much like always LOL. It took only around 45 minutes for us to finish it.

We were reciting a prayer for a safe jungle trekking.

The first obstacle only took like 10 minutes after the journey and I was so excited for this. I was the first girl to do it because well , I was at the front. No big deal lol..hahah

The next one was , we had to walk on the rope like the picture below. I don't know what it's called so yeah. I always love height. Even the black shirt guy couldn't scares me enough lor..hahah

 

We had four check-point for us to go through. The last check-point required us to "berpantun". This was bad for me because my BM is not that good. So I just waving the 'white flag' without even trying. T-T

Later we reached at our room. Took minutes of rest and got ready to prepare lunch. It was exhausting but it was fun because we had no rush. When the night came , we were preparing for BBQ and it was for the boys part to do it. 

I love love the night scene with friends and the fire and food. You know what I mean right? hahah

BBQ in the progress or on the way 

We were chatting and singing while waiting for the BBQ. Well , I wasn't singing actually. I was like "shu bidu bidu" all the time -.-'

Sorry for the blurry picture. My camera was drunk.

And the dinner was served! Yeay ! It was delicious!.

After we had eaten , we played some games which ended up at around 4am. Very exhausting but it was fun and that's the most important right?? Alright I'll continue the third part soon. Thank you for reading. I better get myself ready for weeks of torture ahead. BYE!

Exam mood

Hi guys! It’s quite a while I didn’t post any new entry. I’ve been busy lately. Now I’m in my exam month which requires me to leave my blogging life behind for a while. To be honest , I hate exam month. I need to struggle, eat less and worry about can I cope with these and can I answer  these in the exam hall. My main problem is that I don’t always have much time answering the questions. Because I’m a bit slow to understand them and all those stuffs plus I’m nervous. But hopefully I’ll do better this time and go through this one step at a time. I can’t wait for it to be over but at the same time I’ll do my best. Thank you for the positive vibes you guys have sent. Thank you for reading this. Good night !

January Favourites

Hi everyone and good evening Malaysia! Sorry for not posting new entry for so long and sorry again for making January Favourites a late one..I'm just being busy doing thing I don't even know ( lame excuse haha ). I'm a boring and simple person and don't wear make up much bla and bla..so what I really want to say is most of my January favourites are random things. So here we go ~

• First of my random favourite is this polka dot pinkish mug. I'm not a coffee addicted but I can't live without hot chocolate drink per day. Sometimes I'm running out of milo because I drink it too much  , so at least this cute mug makes me feel better without any drink in it. I know I'm not making sense right now hahah LOL ! 

•  Second favourite is this Fifty Shades Darker by EL James. I love the first edition the most when I'd done reading this book. The plot is just too slow..too much romantic-make-love scenes and I'm getting tired of them. But it's still a good book to read. Right now I'm looking a next new book to read..any suggestion? I love dark , witch , vampire and something more like that. 

• For my lips product , I loveeee lovee love this Just Bitten Kissable by Revlon. It's minty and in soft orange colour which makes my lips softer and kissable hahah ~

• I don't like double ring because you know , you can't move your fingers much but I wore this the most. I don't know what have gotten me in last month. Bling- bling ~

• And last one , I like this Eclipse mints. It's a bit pricey if being compared with other brands but it's worth it. I love peppermint the most and I bring it everywhere I go. 

Thank you so much for reading this. So now it's time for you to tell me what's your favourites ! Bye !

How I spend my night

Hi everyone! It's very hot in Malaysia for a past few days and I think I might get sick but just taken Panadol for precaution because I hate being sick. I'll be the grumpiest person in the world , trust me ..So today I'm going to tell you guys how I spend my night after a long tiring day.

I'm a simple person and before I go to bed I want my body to be free from any product except these two. I have bad allergy so I need to apply these two especially if I've eaten seafood which is my favourite ! Bio-oil is very good for skin cause it makes your skin soft and reduce any stretchmarks and scars from your skin. So these two are like my life saver.

After I've done applying those , I'll light my candle which smells good because it's like a therapy to me while I'm reading a novel. So currently I've been reading Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James which is the second book of Fifty Shades of Grey. Still got few pages left before I'll finish it and that means by tonight! And of course , I need music in my life so lately , I've been listening to Duffy from Endless album which I got for free from previous contest .

So that's how I spend my night before I sleep. How about yours?? Please let me know in the comment below cause I would love to know them ! Thank you! BYE ~

Small Watsons Haul

Hi everyone..I woke up so early today which I did it once in a blue moon. As I'm writing this I'm watching finale episode of Gossip Girl. I don't care if I'm being a spoiler or whatever but Dan Humpfrey is the Gossip Girl and suddenly I'm tired with this world (okay that's too much). I think Georgina Sparks really did rock with black hair and I love her eyes too. Okay enough let's get to the point. Last two days I was running out of my body essentials. So the best shop to get these things is of course Watsons.

I always need bunch of tissues in my room because to be honest I like to eat on my desk which is also in my room. So that I can eat while surfing the net or reading novels. I know it's a bad habit but thank you. Being clumsy is never easy because I always spill everything while I'm eating. So these tissues become in handy. Disposal thing shouldn't be pricey you know.

Next I get myself blackhead removal. The reason why I bought Watsons brand is because I'm experimenting it. I think it will not turn out good but who knows.

Lately , I got so many big pimples on my face which worry me maybe due to some stress but I  really don't know what I'm stressing for right now. I was running out of face moisturiser and usually I use Garnier but it left my face oily. So I need a new type one, Simple. I've tried it on thrice and I love it ! My skin feels hydrated and most importantly oil free. I shoud've tried it before.

Again I was running out of hair conditioner and Loreal will always be my favourite for my hair.

This is my first time using Curl Power by Loreal. Before this I use the one which I bought together when I did my hair at saloon which is good but sticky which I hate the most. But this curl power is not sticky and make the curls softer. Have to say this is the most favourite items I'd purchased for this haul.

And I got 3 more items which I can't show'em here because it's too personal. Thank you so much for reading this..Love !

Follow me !

Hi there! Just wanna post short update here. Lately I love to take a lot of pictures. Not camwhoring of course but I feel inspire to capture the beauty of life. To know that there are many small things happen that I didn't notice. I wanna see another scope of life , another perspective of world and later find out life is wonderful and everything is beautiful in this world. So I've made my Tumblr account (since I don't have Instagram which is kind of sad ) so that I can share what I had captured with my cheap lens and shorter post rather than here in blogspot. I may not as good as professional photographer but the main point is to capture life. So here's some pictures you can find at my Tumblr.

 

So here's the link of my Tumblr Rai901

Feel free to follow mine and if you have beautiful things to share please feel free to do so. Thank you so much! Love ~